“You cannot live on promises. You can go on believing them for a while, perhaps even for many years. But if you are to really live life to the fullest, those important promises that were made to you will need to become reality.
The man who promised you fidelity and keeps his promise has caused his promise to be translated into reality. When you make a promise, you commit to something in the future. When you fulfill your promise, it ceases to be a promise.
The promise of the man who vows fidelity and who is repeatedly unfaithful remains just a promise and an unfulfilled promise at that. You keep waiting for the promise to cease being a promise, but it doesn’t happen. It remains just a promise. And that kind of thing you cannot live with forever. After a while, the unfulfilled promise becomes a cruel betrayal of a commitment. Such betrayals are the stuff of which deep unhappiness is made of.
Relationships that succeed are made of kept promises. Failed relationships are strewn with broken promises. The happy couple will tell you of serious commitments that were faithfully adhered to. Trust is the cornerstone of the satisfied couple, and trust is nurtured by promises fulfilled.
A quick look at failed relationships will reveal a seemingly endless stream of broken promises. This resulted in the destruction of trust. People who cannot trust cannot love. When a relationship fails and you want to know why it happened, ask about broken promises and you will find many.
A serious relationship, especially marriage, is built on a foundation of promises. The promise of a love that will survive the trials and tribulations that will surely stand in the couple’s way. The promise of family and security. The promise of continued personal growth. The promise of mutual support in every kind of endeavor. All kinds of promises that are waiting to be fulfilled.
If and when that happens, there is joy and satisfaction that are difficult to describe unless you have lived through the incredible experience.
If on the other hand, there is a succession of broken commitments the relationship begins to crumble like a sand castle. Soon there is nothing left but frustration and dashed expectations.
Before a decent man promises, he has thought about the commitment he is about to make and the consequences if he does not carry through on his promise. Only then will he verbalize his commitment. Only then will he set in motion the unfolding of the promise, and he will not stop until it becomes a promise fulfilled,” Bob Garon my favorite counselor said.