What’s your plan?
I don’t have a plan. My only plan is to live at the moment and survive this pandemic without getting ill. Die another day, live day by day.
I have learned to just live day by day so I don’t get disappointed and sulk into desperation and despair. Expectations is our biggest enemy. It hurts us more than something to look forward to especially if your expectations aren’t met. It’s a heartache whether we admit it or not.
What I have are daydreams. Dreams of doing big things, going places again. Freely walking the streets, the mall or the grocery and hanging out at a restaurant without any cover on my face , not having the germophobia kind of feeling that everyone and everything I see will make me sick.
I have embraced this quarantined life that I can easily reject any invitation to visit or to party or just to say hi to anyone including my immediate family (which I don’t live with during this pandemic). It’s heart breaking to think of it. But I am saving everyone from potential sickness I may or they might give me. I mean if I die because of Covid-19 they will carry the burden of taking care of my daughter. If they get sick because I am assympotmatic same thing.
I am not afraid to die, believe me , but I am afraid of leaving my loved ones behind. Most importantly my daughter whom needs full time attention, full understanding, unbiased loved and all protection and care I don’t know if anyone is capable of giving. It is not trust issues, I have moments of breakdown when I could no longer take it I scream as hard as I could I throw a tantrums. I am only human. But I know the limit of my madness, I don’t know the limit of others and what they are capable of doing when they have lost it.
Haha this is my birthday post. So gloomy. I am hoping my feeling gets better but generally this is what I feel most of the time since the pandemic. OK! I have plans. Plan is isolate, survive , so I can thrive thereafter. That’s a good plan right?
I tried doing Yoga again (2nd day yesterday and rest day today) and i started at the beginners and wow everything hurts. I’ve been rusty, I haven’t been mobile since the lockdown. Cleaning the house, doing laundry and just walking to the elevator and back to my doorsteps is not really that much of a physical activity. Indoor biking and hulahooping isn’t enough too since I don’t do it as rigorously as I could. I get bored easily.
Every year, birthday cakes are expected from PR friends, but they send all through the entire month of January so it becomes a birthday month. I am looking forward to it but now I want less cake maybe more flowers and plants or maybe pretty ceramic plates! Yes I am slowly becoming platetita but I only want a specific color baby pink. There. If you read this don’t send me cakes I can bake mine and eat it too. Sorry can’t invite you over but we can do an online party if you like!
Suggestion lang Naman hahaha if you want to send ok lang din Naman it is the thought that counts 1 million times ❤️
Also I have my cake and I eat it too! My ultra favorite is Blueberry Cheesecake glad the neighbor baked ! ❤️ Yes I have a neighbor na!
Please subscribe to lmy Youtube channel I plan a silly birthday live party 😁