A Prelude To Father’s Day

Father’s Day is just around the corner (3rd Sunday of this month) and I had to engage you again in to some thought provoking issue. You are the judge, but here’s what the research says, older men make better dads.

Here’s your Double Jeopardy question for the day: “What do Donald Trump, Rod Stewart, Kenny Rogers, Michael Douglas, David Letterman, Larry King, Paul McCartney and Kevin Costner all have in common?” (Hint: They share this commonality with a growing number of men. And no, it’s not just that they are all male, wealthy and in the entertainment business). Give up? They all fathered children in their 50s, 60s or 70s, and that makes them all part of an interesting new trend in parenting.

Older dads are far more common and mainstream. A number of reasons for the increase are due mostly to society today: delaying marriage and child bearing to jumpstart that career; a high divorce rate and then older men are marrying younger women. (Hmmmm. I’m not going there). The wonders of science and medical advancements have also increased our life expectancies. Men are simply living longer and many are deciding to start families later in life (think David Letterman). And there are more than a few men who are in a special category called “S.O.D.” (which stands for “Start Over Dads” though I’m sure their first wives might have another name for it), and starting a second family altogether.

The fascinating part is that research suggests that older dads are actually better at fathering. To be fair, this is such a new phenomenon and all the data isn’t complete, but there’s enough for us to review and — believe me — have some very interesting discussions over. Here are just three of the most titillating findings about older dads:

Older Dads Are More Involved In Child Rearing. No more absentee dads here. These men are visible and want to be actively involved in raising Junior. And that is a huge plus to the kiddies. One of the highest correlations of children who do well in life is that they had actively involved fathers in their lives. Those kids generally have higher self-esteem, more confidence, are more secure, handle stress better, and display more empathy.

Older Dads Are More Nurturing. They are warmer, more generous with affection and more nurturing to their kids. Some of this may be due to a drop in testosterone levels, but regardless, they are mellower, more relaxed and appear to be much calmer in their parenting.

Older Dads Are More Willing To Share Child Responsibility. This one is sure to make mothers cringe (especially their first wives and children), but older dads also tend to share in more of the daily child-rearing tasks. In fact, they are three times more likely to do so than younger dads.

Now there are also disadvantages to fathering at an older age, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t include them. There are milder issues like the embarrassment when you’re introduced as “Grandpa” at those school events or trying to bond with other dads who are 20, 30, (or even 40 years younger). Scientific evidence also warns of more serious risks to the unborn of older fathers, including a rise in birth defects, dwarfism, autism, schizophrenia and pre-term birth.

Health concerns with advancing age are also a risk. Many men admit that the possibility dying before their child grows up is their most pressing concern. Interviews with these fathers also point out that, although the “mortality issue” weighed heavily on them, their decision to have children was always a conscious, deliberate choice. (Amen on that one). The researchers concluded that older fathers for the most part are far more reflective about parenting than their younger counterparts.

Most of these older dads admitted that during their “first round of fathering,” they were too caught up in their careers and didn’t spend time with their children. Suddenly the kids were grown and they’d missed out on the most important role of their lives. They vowed not to make the same mistake again.

Whether or not you agree that men should father later in life, research shows that these older dads are taking their parenting role very seriously–and loving every minute of it. For the most part they are also more patient, nurturing, and more involved with their kids than younger fathers or when they were first-time dads themselves. It also appears that with age comes wisdom. I guess the real $64,000 question is: “Why does it take so long to figure out that what really matters most in life is savoring the time with our kids and making every moment count?”
(Research released by Dr Michelle Borba, iVillage. She is parenting expert, educational psychologist and mom)

But I think its not being older age wise perse but its because we all learn from experience. We all have major slips in some point in our lives, we act faster better than we think so we make decisions without further thinking of the consequences in the future. Young people or I should say inexperience people are more impulsive rather than cerebral and rational. It is not really age but experience and most importantly values.

Here's something else you can read

1 Comment

  1. I agree age is not a factor. I think that older fathers are more patient and open minded…and I know that ypu would need alot of patience and understanding not only in fatherhood but as well in motherhood.

    Great post.

    I have a tag for a cause for you –
    Pink Ribbon

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