Yes, I am a mom. But being a mom is not the end of who I am. It is not the entirety of who I am. Before everything else I was a person, a woman living her own life, fulfilling her dreams, achieving goals, going places. I don’t say being a mom halted everything in my life, although it did for a few when I decided to be a stay at home mom than a working mom. It was a choice to live that way for my daughter who has autism. Those were here early-intervention stages, I needed and wanted to be with her during those times. The fact that I am a single-mom I am definitely needed and wanted.I am glad I was given the opportunity to do that too. Blogging helped keep me sane during those times. Blogging kept me sane until now. It has opened so many doora that I didm’t know existed before.
My daughter is now 13 years old. Common misconceptiom of people think people with autism has physical deformities. She looks completely normal, until she does her peculiar behaviors, her unusual sounds and movements. She is non-verbal, so I, and my family keep a close guard of her. A family member is always with her at all times at any cost. She is too pretty, precious and innocent to be left alone.
Anyway, yes, I am a mom, but I rarely attend mommy blogger related events. I don’t feel the need to be there. Although I love seeing my mommy blogger friends, they were my support group when I started. We interacted online and offline and have formed a secret sisterhood bond you never thought could happen when you just met online.
But I no longer want to attend mommy events anymore. Especially because mommy events in the country involves diapers, baby soap and washes, baby food, baby toys and clothes, infant to todler milk, that my child does not need or want anymore.
You see, part of being a mom is being practical. You have to know what you truly need first in order to survive. Next is understanding what you want in order to be sane.
Needs and wants play an important part in my decision to attend or not a mommy related event. Does my child need it? Does she want it? If yes, I go, if she doesn’t I ask myself: Do I need it? Do I want it? Then I decide.
Having been a full time blogger for 7 years, with my home being my office at the same time attending events is my socialization. So when I go out I want it worth my while.
I am already a mom and that can never ever be changed. I do my mommy duties at home even when I’m out I need to be safe because I have a daughter waiting for me.
As selfish sounding it may be, I want my events to be just about me being me, a person, a woman. Someone who do things I love. Things that will make me fulfilled as a person.
Don’t get me wrong being a mom is the best thing that can ever happen to any woman. No amount of kinship as sister, niece, or girl friends can put a measure to it a love of a mom and her child is incomparable.
She said: “ While most of the events I attend is work. I wish I get invited at non-parenting / mommy blogger related events too. I mean I am a mom at home already, I do mommy stuff everyday. I am a mom already, I want to do something else that is not being a mommy related from time to time. I need a breather too you know!”
It was so nice to have spoken to her about this. At least someone understood where I am coming from. Btw, she is a mom of three and just gave birth a few months ago.
Not attending mommy events is not shunning away being a mom, it’s just that when I go out, I want to do something for myself as myself. A breather to my daily grind. An alternate world when I was still single (period). When I can do things I love for the love of it. This is the main reason I maintain a lifestyle (fashion, beauty, travel, adventure) blog and not a parenting blog.
It’s just like having a me time. When moms have me time, they do their mommy duties way more easier and happier. Happy mom, happy life!
So, screw that other blogger or well she said she is a writer who is so bitter about moms who have time to prettify themselves and have the ability to cook meals for their family wearing stiletto!
What do you think my fellow mommies?
Stay gorgeous everyone!