How Will My Child Be Able To Survive When I’m Gone?

Autism12 Comments on How Will My Child Be Able To Survive When I’m Gone?

How Will My Child Be Able To Survive When I’m Gone?

While many parents concern involved what their child will be when they grow up parents of children with autism only have one concern, how will my child be able to survive when I am gone?

Sugat ng Kahapon, a short story aired on GMA 7 today, featuring Dennis Trillo as the adolescent male with autism and Marian Rivera as a caring neighbor, reminded me of the biggest worry/ fear I have for my daughter. What will happen to her when I’m gone? Who will take care of her? Will she be able to cope? Will people be nice to her? Will she be safe from evil people?

All these thoughts came creeping on me and it breaks my heart to pieces. I can’t help but cry buckets of tears while watching the part when Dennis grandmother died. I was even sobbing all throughout the commercial break and two segments later. I imagined it was me and my daughter was Dennis who was completely clueless on what just happened.

I know I am torturing myself for thinking these thoughts but these are valid concerns and although I have a family who understands my daughters situation so well, since I am the youngest and the mother of my child I can’t help but explore these thoughts about my daughters future without me. Where will she go? Who will take care of her? What will life be to her without me in it to help her around?

Personally, I am not afraid to die but I don’t want to leave my daughter alone. I know that death is inevitable, everyone dies, when, where and how who knows. But there’s just great truth and that is we will all die.

People have a very vague understanding of autism, they call it special child, because they are special, they have their own world, they don’t understand, they throw uncontrollable tantrums. That is what the general public know a very limited understanding of the entire picture.

People don’t always have the patience or the tolerance for people they barely know. Not everyone can understand and that’s the harsh truth.

For an adolescent male in the autism spectrum their stigma is that they scare people away. Because they are big and have this incredible strength when throwing a fit some would rather stay away from them and some would suggest that they keep them in chains or in a mental institution, to keep their “peace and order” since there are no real facilities here in the country for people with autism, like what was shown in Sugat sa Puso.

For an adolescent female the worries are different, my worries are different. I don’t fear the safety of other people around my daughter, she is very harmless, in fact she is a very sweet girl, too sweet for her own good I think. God forbid but evil people can be anywhere especially sex offenders. My daughter can be very vulnerable for this and that is what I fear.

I would like to inform everyone that people with autism are harmless human beings. They mean no harm to anyone. When they throw uncontrollable tantrums it means their needs were not met or they do not like what is happening around them. It is also a sign of frustration because they can’t communicate to us what they need. We all know how frustrating it can be when we can’t do what we want or when people around us can’t seem to understand us. Imagine that happens all the time for people with autism. They can’t make sense of what we are doing as much as we can’t make sense of what they are doing.

I hope God will look out for my daughter and all the people in the autism spectrum that no harm will come before them. I pray that God protect them from evil. I pray that one day they will be able to communicate to us. I pray that one day more people understand what autism is. I pray that one day I will no longer have these fears because my daughter is able to live independently and able to distinguish danger. I pray that the world will be more compassionate and patience with people afflicted with the autism spectrum.

More autism related posts can be found here.

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I am a storyteller. Enabler. Fashion, Beauty, Travel and Lifestyle Blogger. An advocate of autism awareness, women's and children's rights and the environment. A single parent of a person with autism. A former Journalist. I am not an expert I am experienced. I do what I love no regrets. If you need anything email me at : earthlingorgeous (@)

12 thoughts on “How Will My Child Be Able To Survive When I’m Gone?

  1. bes, i do not know how to start…..but i want you to know that i understand how you feel as a mother and as a friend, the torment that keeps breaking ur heart and thoughts…….iam completely touch and cant help but cry. Just always remember im always here for u and anya….and i will continue to praying to our good God that He will blessed you more a heart that is full of courage, a mind that is pure and tender and a long life enough to share it with your beloved Anya. i love you friend take care

  2. I share the idea of those who says that GOD will help them after parent are gone.

    But the problem is really big, and the society don’t accept this kind of behavior and parent should stay with thier children.

    Fot that i think we shoul bring family values to our world.
    For exemple if we are realy related to our parents, brothers or sisters. We will not care about that too much, because we will know that there is someone that will care after we leave.

    Today we live in individualisme more and more and we are more separated not only familly but also we find alot of single women that I’m sure they can’t protect children without the help of the father.

    jessy’s latest blog post..Which university should you attend??

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