A Taste of Life in America — From Visitor to Wife: My Epic 3rd Visit in the USA

My third visit was intended to see what life in America would be for us. With a ring on my finger and hopes (and nerves) in my heart, everything suddenly felt way more real — and way more complicated.

I never thought I’d return to the U.S. like this.

Sure, I’ve been here before. Twice, in fact. But this third time? It’s different. I came back not as a tourist, not as a girlfriend meeting the family—but as a wife.

Yep. Wife.
Still getting used to that word.

Marcus and I have been married for just over a year, but we’ve only spent a quarter of that time physically together. It sucks. Long-distance love is no joke. So this trip was supposed to be a “trial” — to see if I’d want to live in the U.S. for good. Be with him. Start over. Maybe settle down.

And that’s where life in America started to hit me in ways I never expected.

🛬 The Airport That Shook Me

Seattle greeted me not with warmth, but with… suspicion. At immigration, I got pulled aside. No smiles. Just questions. For a moment, I honestly wondered if I’d be sent back home without even seeing my husband.

It was humiliating. It was scary. And it made me question everything.

“This is how the U.S. welcomes a married Filipina woman visiting her American husband?” I couldn’t shake that thought.

That moment really shaped my first impression of life in America as a wife—not just a visitor.

Flashback: My Second Visit, the Vegas What-If

Six years ago, I visited Marcus in the U.S. for the second time. I met his mom and sisters—something I knew meant a lot. You don’t fly a woman halfway across the world to meet your family unless you’re serious.

And yes, I did daydream about eloping in Vegas. Who wouldn’t? Fast weddings, Elvis impersonators, glitter everywhere—it’s iconic! But no wedding happened then. Just vibes and growing feelings.

Now fast forward to today — wife status unlocked, yet the emotions feel messier than ever.

Living in Lacey: Cute, Cozy, and a Little Too Quiet?

We now live in Lacey, Washington. It’s a quiet town, a short drive from Marcus’s workplace. Our new apartment? Gated, safe, and walkable. There’s a gym, a jacuzzi, a pool, and a backyard full of squirrels doing aerial stunts.

Oh—and did I mention we have a fireplace?

Yep, just like in the movies. I was so impressed. In Manila, we run the aircon nonstop. Here? I’m hugging the fireplace for dear warmth.

Everything looks perfect on paper. The nature parks, the sunny (yes, sunny!) weather, the peaceful streets. But something felt… off. Maybe it’s the emotional whiplash. Maybe it’s the feeling of starting over without a safety net.

This is the real deal of life in America—where beauty meets challenges in unexpected ways.

The Truth About This “Trial Move”

This visit was meant to help me decide: Can I live here? Can I call life in America my new normal?

And honestly? I don’t know yet.

America has its moments. But right now—with the political tension, rising unrest, and my less-than-stellar immigration experience—it doesn’t exactly feel like the right time.

Still, what matters more than any location is this: we’re finally together. No more timezones. No more virtual fights or video call cuddles. Just annoying each other in person, as all married couples should.

USA 🇺🇸 vs  Philippines 🇵🇭 Reality Check: A Filipina Wife’s Guide to Adjusting (or Not)

Let’s lighten the mood for a second and talk differences. Because culture shock is real, and so are these painfully honest observations:

 Entertainment:

• U.S.: Backyard squirrels flipping like gymnasts. Nature’s drama channel.

• PH: My cat knocking things over and giving me judgmental side-eye. Iconic.

 Sidewalks:

• U.S.: Clean, wide, and peaceful. You actually want to walk.

• PH: If there’s a sidewalk, it’s probably half a sari-sari store, a parking space, or a death trap. Walking here? One foot on the street, one foot in the grave.

Pedestrian Rights:

• U.S.: Drivers stop for you at the crosswalk. They actually wait. It felt illegal to be respected.

• PH: Even if you’re halfway through crossing, someone will honk like you’re causing global traffic. Survival of the fastest.

 Temperature Vibes:

• U.S.: I’m glued to the fireplace like a moth to flame.

• PH: My aircon’s doing the Lord’s work 24/7. Ice queen mode always on.

 Sunset Schedule:

• U.S.: 8PM and it’s still bright out. My body clock is like, “Ma’am???”

• PH: By 6PM, it’s pitch black. Instant mood shift.

TIPPING !

Let’s talk about one more thing that gave me a bit of culture shock: tipping. In the Philippines, tipping is totally optional—like a “thanks for the great service” kind of bonus. But life in America? Oh, tipping feels mandatory mandatory. Even in Starbucks! I was ordering my usual latte and suddenly faced with a screen asking if I wanted to tip 10%, 15%, or 20%. I panicked and tapped the middle one like it was a test question. Apparently, 10% is the bare minimum here—even if all you did was pick up your drink. I’m all for rewarding good service, but dang, I wasn’t ready to tip every time I blinked!

 So… Will I Move?

Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not making that call just yet.

This was my third time in the U.S.
My first time as a wife.
And definitely the first time I really saw the cracks in the dream.

But love? Love’s still solid. And wherever Marcus and I decide to build our forever—whether it’s Manila, Lacey, or somewhere in between—it’ll be together.

That’s what matters.

 Tell me: Have you ever had a “this wasn’t what I imagined” moment when traveling—or even in love? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments. Let’s normalize the messy parts of life transitions.