My horoscope today made me stop and think and I’d like to share what the horoscope said. So excuse the emoness and in case you can’t stand stop reading now and do something else.
“Planning for the future is your best use of the energy of this New Moon, Capricorn. This is not, however, about next week’s dinner party, this is a time to sit and make lists of what you’d like to accomplish in 5, 10 or 15 years and start working on what needs to be done to reach these goals. This is also a time that favors one’s intellectual or spiritual interests, and if new courses or studies begin now, you will have a great deal of success at them. Sometimes this New Moon means travel, but due to the other placements of the planets, this time it may favor more personal matters for you.”
Before having my daughter I have my life planned on paper. I had my day organized by the hour, my week organized by day, I have set goals for the next five years. I do my own bookeeping when it comes to my income, expenses and savings. I didn’t realized I was being foolish and stubborn when I included in my plans the difficulty of raising a special child as a single mom. All I planned was I want to have a child married or not (that sounds crazy I know) when I’m 24 and it did happen. After that everything changed dramatically and now I have to go with the flow. My life is spontaneous and I live by the now. No future just the present.
Reading that horoscope and doing what it said makes me wish my life away. My life is a spontaneous turn of events right now and I think I cannot plan anything beyond the now because it meant changing the routine that is best for my daughter.
Where I’m going to be five years from now is hard for me to picture right now. It all depends on how my daugther will improve in the coming years and what will be required for her to continue improving. Will I get married or not? God knows, if someone can come to sweep me off my feet and able to love and accept my daughter as she is and is willing to do the needed adjustments for her well being, why not. If he doesn’t come, the world doesn’t end. But of course I will be hypocrite not to wish that someday my prince will come, after all the world is an easier place when you have someone who loves you and someone you love. Don’t get me wrong I love my daughter and she loves me so much, I can tell by the way she look at me and how she responds to me but you all know what I mean.
Argggg! My killer headache!
