I haven’t been blogging much. I was trying to find inspiration to get back into writing again. Lately, I am more into posting video blogs (here’s my Youtube Channel). It is easier than writing the video will speak for itself. Unlike writing, you have to make it engaging enough so people will read from end to end and understand what you are saying. In fact, I think if none of you reached this line, you are not interested and have turned to another page to look at and browse. People’s attention span is so short that they hardly digest and savor a moment anymore. It seems like everyone just always wanted to go to the next one without even enjoying what’s in front of them which is sad, really sad.
When I look at my mom today and I feel very sad. She was not the mom I grew up with. She is totally a different person like some alien or sort. It’s like we have given birth or adopted a new person to take care of with a different language, who is very impatient, disconnected, disengaged, lost and empty. I feel sad seeing my mother turn this way. She used to be full of zest, fiesty and opinionated, funny at times, loving and thoughtful. I wrote about her now as my Facebook memory feed showed me my mom’s quotable quotes I hashtagged #mamasaid. They’re golden piece of memory nuggets of how she used to be.
This was the same reason I started a blog . This is beside bloging as my form of stress reliever during the days I was forced to stay home (my decision) to be a full time mom part time writer/PR practitioner to see my daughter through her toddler stage of autism. I had to be there, I need to be there. I needed to understand her situation and know how to help her and not just let those dedicated practitioner do the work.
So yeah, my blog was my happy place. My little bubble. I write what I want, I write my thoughts, fears, discoveries and everything else. But above all, I was writing my experiences, good or bad. I need a place where I can go back and read how I used to be, how it felt like that time it happened. I used to write in my journal but for some odd reasons I stopped and got dependent at typing into a keyboard to write whatever is on my mind. It was also faster to type on keyboard. I can type a sentence with my eyes closed. Plus I wanted to share my experiences back then to readers who needed . I started at the time when there was just a few of us and we write personal stuff not commercialized stuff. Back then people love to comment and interact, share stories. Now they will only comment if it’s a giveaway and they will get something from it. I miss the old blogging days. But I am not complaining of the now I wouldn’t be here doing full time blogging for almost 9 years now without all my readers and sponsors support. I couldn’t be grateful enough for all the opportunities and experiences blogging has made me experience. That is why I continue to blog to remember and to share.
How I wish my mom kept a diary so I can read things in her mind , in her life that she was not able to share with us anymore because her memory got lost and her ability to communicate disabled. I wrote this to remind myself of my blogging roots and keep my blog going even if I am discouraged sometimes because of the way bloggers are being treated by some who don’t know how things work in the blogosphere. The internet has changed the way we all live. We bloggers, I am making the most and the best of it. Nine years my friends, full time blogging. If that doesn’t mean anything then I don’t know what else would.
I blog for myself, for my memories I can read anytime I want (as long as I keep my host and domain subscription the blog will be live). I blog so when I miss myself I can get inspiration back to keep me going.
Thank you Facebook for reminding me of how my mom used to be and how we need reminding somehow. Our memories are important but they can be forgotten, we needed to be reminded. Where can I get my mom’s memory back?
This is how my mom is now: