In a Blogger Limbo

I used to be a mommy blogger blogging every single detail about my journey as a single mom of a child (toddler) with autism. The things I write about surviving autism has touched a lot of readers hearts and minds that I gained a lot of following because of it. I loved the fact that by opening up about my struggles I was able to echo concerns by other families living with autism. But as soon as my daughter turned tween I stopped blogging about my journey. I knew I should have but the protective instinct in me kept me away from doing it. So many creepy predators around and I don’t want them feasting on my innocent child. I know parents with tween child with autism wants to know how to deal with the challenge of having to take care of an adolescent autistic child. The challenges are different, the fears are more intense.


I used to be a beauty blogger blogging about every little cosmetic discovery I find. I post reviews even for a single piece of lipstick I purchase or was given to me by a PR agency or brand. I also gained a lot of following because of that. I even have professional makeup artists reading my reviews and they tell me personally or send me messages that my reviews are helpful. It was because my makeup or beauty or cosmetic reviews were from a point-of-view of a noob who’s exploring makeup, skincare and new stuff at the beauty counter. I don’t write technical terms and jargons I just say it as a normal customer who hated or loved a product because it worked for me or didn’t.


I used to be a fashion blogger. I blog about my #OOTDs #WIWTD with side stories on why I choose to wear what I wore and a lot of photos. That fashion blogging during my time got me where I am right now, I mean I got more projects and gigs as brand ambassador, I was on papers and magazines and I have digital ads. I had shoot here and there,campaigns and paid appearances here and there. Who would have thought that a 30ish year old that time like me would get to work side-by-side with the likes of Solenn Heusaff who was just starting then. It was the glamorous , glitzy
life I imagined as a kid. I got there, I was there. It was all good.


I used to be an advocacy blogger. Not meaning to humble brag but I started the bloggers who involved themselves on charity work. It started with the devastating typhoon in 2014 when I made a call to help rebuild homes and rebuild lives by working with Habitat for Humanity. In my own blogger ways I used my influence to help people for real. I raised funds and got a lot of money to donate. They acknowledge me for that. After that Habitat for Humanity started getting Online Champions a group of bloggers to help them raise awareness about what they do. Even until now I still involve myself in charities and advocacy but I no longer post much about them because I feel I don’t have to share every little thing I do to the world.


I used to like writing about anything and everything under the sun. Now, I don’t. I want my privacy. Some and most of the things I do, feel or think aren’t meant to be public. So I slowed down. I like the distance but I miss writing about whatever crosses my mind and life. I remember why I started blogging because I don’t want to forget. I am scared of forgetting everything because I have a history of temporary amnesia. I also have bouts of short term memory loss. It’s one of my greatest fear not remembering. I’ve been there once and it’s not a nice place to be in. My mom is there now and it’s a cold wicked feeling when somebody who loves you and you love all your life don’t even remember you. Everyday you live with someone who barely knows you anymore. My mom is now a vessel, just a body of someone we used to know. There are times she remembers but very rare, those moments I treasure a lot and I don’t want to forget. So thank you Facebook for keeping our memories. For that I thank Facebook especially when it shows us memories.


Now I don’t know what kind of blogger I am.  So yes I am in a blogger limbo or a blogger in limbo. I wanna quit and I don’t. Blogging is my main source of income . In my US Embassy visa application (that got approved twice) I said I work as a blogger.  I am  a pro blogger for more than a decade and I am proud about my achievements through blogging. If I quit , do I fully quit or just continue doing what I have been doing for the past two years. Only accept and post about paid gigs and article orders. Did I just become what I hate, too commercial blogger with no passion. I only blog to please the clients and brands.


Another factor that got me in this blogging rut is the fact that not too many people like to read anymore. This has been a problem for years now. All info is written carefully and yet comments pour like they didn’t read at all. It’s getting worse every year and now people would just like to watch not read. But then again same problem, did they really watch because they’re asking the same things already tackled in the video. Are people getting too dependent of getting spoon fed with info that they don’t want to use their brain anymore ?


Come to think of it would there be anyone even be interested in reading this shit now.


Then there’s Instagram the biggest distraction from real blogging. People like looking at pictures and then write captions some even long ones and they call themselves bloggers and influencers. The pic will only be browsable in 5 days tops then it’s hard to even search for it unless you go to a particular person’s account. Bla bla bla.


Anyway, should I stay or should I quit. I’ll brew more about this while trying to push myself to vlog. I’ve tons of vlog stuff pending editing and recording. I guess I just don’t have that enough inspiration (?) to push me to do it.


I should take it slow. But I have taken it slow for two years now, how slower can I get? This blogger hiatus has got to end sometime.


Ok , I think I need your help, should I quit? If not what do you want me to keep blogging about? Your response will be appreciated.


Stay gorgeous everyone!

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