Can I answer your question? And you know who you are. I will not name you though because I respect your privacy.I am not a perfect person, hell, I screwed up lots of times in all areas of my life but I believe I have an answer to that lingering thought of yours. Is loneliness easier to deal with than getting hurt?
Personally, I would rather get hurt than shield myself from getting hurt because I tried and experienced the feeling of being loved by someone, even if it was just for a certain period. You know what kind of love I am talking about, it’s not the unconditional love a family gives to each family member, a love that is given no matter how twisted we are, and your family will always love you no matter what, especially our mothers. That kind of love is unquestionable and we didn’t ask for it it’s given a gift from God so that each and everyone can survive in this harsh world.
Two way love between a man and a woman, that’s what I’m talking about if you’re still trying to ignore what I am saying. I mean two ways it’s a give and take relationship, both receive love and feel love and not just one gives and one receives. I am also not talking about loving someone from a distance but a mutual understanding of two people. It’s where two people look at the same direction and find comfort in each others arms (and not just sex ok?). It’s where you feel someone values you for who you are and not for what you are able to give. This someone is someone who takes you as you and despite all your quirks. The one you share all your glory and failures.
I confess, I can’t take being lonely for life, I would rather get hurt, even repeatedly (but of course I don’t intend to be physically battered). Emotional hurt is what I mean and everything that comes along with falling in love and being in love.
I can never deal with loneliness; it’s an ugly place to be. It’s the feeling where at the end of the night, when you are on your bed alone, you reflect at all the success and achievement you have in all areas in your life except in love, it will hurt inside to know you have no one beside you. That’s the worst thing to feel I believe.
Getting married, it doesn’t just mean someone to settle with. True you settle with someone for the rest of your life, you settle with one person who will be there with you through thick and thin, sickness and in health and all those things people say on their wedding vows. But it’s not just settling because you have deficiency in yourself that you need rescuing or someone complementing yours, you know the knight-in-shining-armor thingy.
You want to marry a person because you love that person and you can’t imagine living life without that one person. It’s the person you want to see when you first open your eyes in the morning and the last person you want to see when you close your eyes at night. Someone you see yourself getting old with, the one who can be a friend and a lover at the same time. The one you can make a fool of yourself with, laugh and cry with, have some feisty fight or argue with when some problem arises.
You both know that life isn’t just sunshine, it’s got to rain sometimes. The one who, despite all the ugly arguments you have that someone is still that one true person who knows you inside out unlike any other person in this world. That one is the one who makes you happy by just being there in your life, the kind of happiness that no material thing can ever give.
Nobody wants to be lonely, just like how Ricky Martin and Christina Aguillera said in a song.
Is loneliness easier to deal with than getting hurt?
No! Loneliness is a very powerful emotion. It can lead to depression, illness, even suicide.
“If I’m such a legend, then why am I so lonely? Let me tell you, legends are all very well if you’ve got somebody around who loves you.” — Judy Garland